Welcome Readers!
Last month’s blog post, we discussed how a godly man’s life should reflect a desire to know the Lord, obey the Lord, and become more like the Lord along the way. In this month’s entry in the Worthy of Your Heart Series, we will look at a biblical quality that we, as sisters-in-Christ, might overlook in a man we are prayerfully considering for marriage: his willingness to be discipled.
Before we dive into why being discipled is important, let us define what being a disciple means. The Greek word for “disciple” is “mathētēs,” which means “a learner, pupil, disciple; one who follows one’s teaching.” From the Old Testament to the New Testament, we read examples of both men and women who were taught and influenced by others. Examples include Moses learning from his father-in-law Jethro, Joshua learning from Moses, and Ruth learning from her mother-in-law Naomi. Perhaps the greatest example is the original twelve disciples being discipled by Jesus. While these relationships looked different, there is a common thread among them: relational closeness.
Why is being discipled important? The Apostle Paul writes in his epistle to Titus stating,
But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. 2Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. 3Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. 6Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. (Titus 2:1-6).
This passage of Scripture highlights a few important things about discipleship:
- It should be rooted in Christ and sound doctrine.
- It should involve older, more mature believers discipling their own gender.
- It should be personal and relational.
Reflect for a moment on your own life. Think about the things you learned, the skills you developed, the life you have built. How did you come to know what you know? How did you develop those skills? How did you arrive where you are now in life? For most, the answer to those questions is tied to those who taught us through their words and through their example.
As we get to know a man we are prayerfully considering for marriage, who he is today was shaped by people in his past and is being shaped by people in his present. As Titus 2 demonstrates, it is important for older believers to teach and model godly living for those who are younger in the faith. A question we might ask a man is “Who were the three most pivotal godly men in your life in your past?” Another question might be, “Who are the three most pivotal godly men in your life today?” In addition, we might ask, “How did they disciple you?”
Sisters-in-Christ, asking questions like these can reveal more about the character of the man you are getting to know. It also gives you a glimpse into the kind of people he chooses to surround himself with presently. Pay attention to his response. It can reveal whether he recognizes his need for godly influence and whether the wisdom he has gained, and continues to gain, from these men is helping him grow more like Christ.
All Bible verses are from Holy Bible: English Standard Version