Readers,
In last month’s blog post, we talked about how a hardworking man is one who faithfully embraces the work God has entrusted to him. For today’s entry in the Worthy of Your Heart Series, we will explore the most important biblical quality sisters-in-Christ should seek in a man they are prayerfully considering for marriage: his relationship with the Lord.
Ladies, as a Christ follower, when someone asks you what you are looking for in a man or when an online dating app prompts you to describe the qualities you want in a man, how many of you answer something along the lines of, “He needs to be a Christian” or “He needs to believe in God”? The man you desire to have a romantic relationship with that leads to marriage should be a Christian; even so, what does being a Christian mean?
In today’s culture, Christianity means different things. Christianity could mean one who attends church. Christianity could mean one who aligns with one political party. Christianity could mean one who believes in Jesus. The truth is, Christianity is not any of those things. Jesus never said going to church makes someone a Christian. Jesus is not aligned with any political party. And Scripture tells us that even the demons believe in God, for James 2:19 says, “You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.”
In addition, Jesus warns us that not everyone who says they belong to Him truly does. In Matthew 7:21-22, He says,
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’”
These verses are unsettling and reveal a terrifying reality: some people—past, present, and future—believe they are following the one true God because they have called Him “Lord” and have done things in His name.
We have an idea of what being a Christian is not, but what does being a Christian mean? Did you notice how, in the opening paragraph, I used the words “relationship with the Lord” to describe what sisters-in-Christ should seek in a man? This is important.
There is a difference between a man who simply checks the box of being a Christian and a man who has a genuine relationship with Jesus Christ. A godly man does not merely profess faith in Jesus as Savior; he also submits his life to Jesus as Lord. In allowing Jesus to be Lord of his life, the man submits to the Lord’s transforming work in him and continues the journey of becoming more like Christ in his heart, mind, and speech daily.
This is what Jesus expresses in Matthew 7:23: “And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’” Christianity without a genuine relationship with the Lord does not reflect being a true disciple of Christ.
If a man says he is a Christian, then his actions should reflect what the Lord says one who follows Him looks like. If he says he is a Christian, then he should not need you to motivate him to spend time in Scripture, prayer, and worship with the Lord. He should already have a personal relationship with the Lord before you and he ever crossed paths. If anything, your individual relationships with the Lord should inspire you both as you continue to grow in Christ.
So, sisters-in-Christ, do not simply desire a Christian man. Desire a godly one. A godly man will never be perfect, but his life should demonstrate a desire to know the Lord deeply, obey Him always, and become more like Christ along the way.
All Bible verses are from Holy Bible: English Standard Version and from Holy Bible: New International Version