Reader,
In last month’s blog post, we discussed how a godly man should recognize his need for godly influence and seek discipleship from older, more mature godly men. For this month’s entry in the Worthy of Your Heart Series, we will explore a biblical quality that we, as sisters-in-Christ, might overlook in a man we are prayerfully considering for marriage: his words.
Have you ever heard the phrase: “Actions speak louder than words?” This phrase holds some truth, as actions can carry more weight than words in certain situations. For instance, you would not take your car to a mechanic and rely solely on their words to repair it. You would expect them to follow through on their words and actually repair your vehicle.
While our actions often carry more weight than our words, there are also times when our words carry just as much, if not more, significance. As you prayerfully consider a man for marriage, you might ask him questions about the people in his life. In addition to godly men who have influenced him, you might ask him about his family and friends. How does he talk about them? Granted, not everyone has healthy family relationships. Still, does he speak respectfully about the people in his life?
The words he uses when talking about the people in his life can give you insight into how he might speak about you to others. Sisters-in-Christ, I want to offer a word of caution: if a man is serious about pursing a future with you but keeps you a secret from the people closest to him, this is a red flag worth paying attention to. A man who is serious about pursuing a future with you should be willing to acknowledge your place in his life and introduce you to the people who matter to him.
Let us turn to Proverbs 31. This chapter is well known for describing the qualities of a godly woman and the kind of wife and mother she should aspire to be. Men can also look to this chapter as they consider the qualities of a godly woman. Even so, a few verses in this chapter draw our attention to the role of godly men. One of these verses says, “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her” (Proverbs 31:28).
Look at the second half of this verse. Notice that the husband praises his wife. Even though this verse specifically describes a husband’s praise for his wife, we can consider this principle in the season before marriage. Praise should not begin only after a man becomes your husband. His willingness to speak words of appreciation and encouragement can be evident even as you prayerfully consider a future together.
Now praise does not mean he is trying to stroke your ego or that he is only talking about your beauty. Praise can take the form of encouragement, recognition of your character, or acknowledgment of the things he sees you accomplishing as you follow Christ.
Ponder the following questions as you prayerfully consider a man for marriage.
- How does he speak to you when no one else is around?
- How does he speak about you when his inner circle is around?
- Can you identify examples of him praising or encouraging you?
Sisters-in-Christ, asking yourself these questions can help you discern whether a man’s words demonstrate respect and honor or reveal a lack of either.
All Bible verses are from Holy Bible: English Standard Version